Test Drive Meme - New Blood

[undyingmods]

DEC TEST DRIVE MEME

WELCOME, VAMPIRES!

Welcome to the Undying Court Test Drive Meme! This post will allow players to test drive their AU characters in the setting, as well as meet fresh faces or even connect with those they have preexisting CR with. As with anything involved in the setting, this post will likely contain: violence, enthrallment, torture, and sexual content.

Regarding continuity, all TDM threads can be taken as in-game canon if desired. Please keep in mind that the game proper will begin in mid December, in the Winter Season, so Students/Novices should create their prompts under the assumption that the TDM takes place during the season prior to the one they will be apping as. This means that students planning to app as first season novices will be visiting Castle Courtsheart prior to their Beginning. In other words, if you plan to app a student as a second season, the TDM will take place during their first, and so on.

Feel free to brush up on the Premise, Vampire Powers, and head over to the FAQ/Game Info page if you have any questions!

• Make sure you are aware of the Rules when posting your top-level. (Content warnings are always welcome!)
• Please format your Top-level in this format: Character Name (AU Name if different) | Canon | Teacher/Student | Court
• As a reminder, a Test Drive sample is required in order to app.
• If you have any questions specific to the TDM, ask them in the Questions thread below!

Top-Level Directory:

Chat with NPC: Revar
Ace Attorney - Apollo Justice (Student)
Alice in the Country of Hearts - Alice Liddell (Student)
Attack On Titan - Erwin Smith (Teacher)
Baldur's Gate 3 - Astarion (Teacher)
Baldur's Gate 3 - Halsin (Teacher)
Baldur's Gate 3 - Raphael (Teacher)
Batman - Bruce Wayne (Teacher)
Bridgerton (Netflix) - Anthony Bridgerton (Student)
Castlevania - Soma Cruz (Student)
Castlevania: Nocturne - Maria Renard (Student)
Cosmo Warrior Zero - Harlock (Student)
Critical Role - Percy DeRolo (Teacher)
Daria - Daria Morgendorffer (Teacher)
Devil Summoner - Raidou Kuzunoha XIV (Student)
Dragon Age - Fenris (Teacher)
D&D: Honor Amongst Thieves - Edgin Darvis (Teacher)
D&D: Honor Amongst Thieves - Xenk Yendar (Teacher)
Ensemble STars!! - Mayoi Ayase (Student)
Fate/Zero - Kariya Matou (Kariya Makiri) (Student)
FE: Three Houses - Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd (Student)
FE: Three Houses - Hilda Goneril (Student)
FE: Three Houses - Lorenz Hellman Gloucester (Student)
FE: Three Houses - Marianne von Edmund (Student)
FE: Three Houses - Sylvain Gautier (Student)
Final Fantasy XIV - Estinien Varlineau (Teacher)
Frozen - Prince Hans (Student)
Genshin Impact - Diluc Ragnvindr (Teacher)
Genshin Impact - Tighnari (Teacher)
Hanna Is Not A Boy's Name - Conrad Achenleck (Teacher)
Hannibal (NBC) - Will Graham (Teacher)
Jujutsu Kaisen - Gojo Satoru (Teacher)
Jujutsu Kaisen - Toji Zen'in (Teacher)
Lucifer (Netflix) - Lucifer Morningstar (Teacher)
MCU - Loki Laufeyson (Teacher)
Original - Aurinn Laurentius (Student)
Original - Bellatrix Bakhar (Student)
Original - Christine Delacroix (Teacher)
Original - Hanako 'Rosalina' Nurumi (Teacher)
Original - Jisu (Eden Woods) (Student)
Original - Karma D'Auvergn (Teacher)
Our Flag Means Death - Edward Teach (Teacher)
Our Flag Means Death - Izzy Hands (Student)
Persona 3 Portable - Kotone Shiomi (Student)
Persona 5 R - Goro Akechi (Student)
Persona 5 - Haru Okumura (Student)
Persona 5 - Ren Amamiya (Student)
Pride and Prejudice - Elizabeth Bennet (Student)
Return to Labrynth - Sarah Williams (Teacher)
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs - Snow White (Student)
Stargate: Atlantis - John Sheppard (Teacher)
Star Trek: AOS - James T. Kirk (Student)
Star Wars - Darth Vader (Teacher)
Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order - Trilla Suduri (Student)
The Adventure Zone: Balance - Kravitz (Teacher)
The Adventure Zone: Balance - Lydia (Teacher)
The Adventure Zone: Graduation - Fitzroy Maplecourt (Student)

NEW ARRIVALS

New arrivals will be starting their first season in the winter, but they're welcomed to the castle early, under the watchful eyes of the Silver Court. Upon arrival, they will be shown to a room by a human whose eyes glow softly from within, with vacant smiles. Thralls. There, the human thralls will draw them a bath and bring them new clothes to wear to their first meeting. These are rich, expensive things made of high quality fabric. Whether it's a silk dress and a heavy velvet cowl, or a fine pants and a vest made from a brocade, the servants will provide. The new initiate's old clothes will be burned after, in a symbol of the life they are leaving behind. If they are hungry, they will be provided food. If they need anything at all, they need only ask their new servants.

Later that night they are taken to a grand hall, with high arched ceilings and candles burning in chandeliers. There are figures painted overhead, beautiful and entwined. Some have their eyes are colored to match the courts, others are gracefully placed in their death, with blood dripping from necks and wrists.

Balconies line the hall behind a forest of pillars, and vampires all watch as the group walk through (some more hungrily than others).

"Welcome to your first undying season, initiates," a pale, silver-haired vampire calls. They have silver eyes are clad in silver robes, but command the attention of everyone in attendance. They have a beauty that seems neither male nor female. They are standing at the center of a wide semi-circle of other vampires, "As the Silver Court's acting voice at this end of the Autumn season, allow me to introduce you to the Houses that will be your new homes."

The vampire, Revar, gives the newcomers an overview of all of the courts—Blue, Red, Gold, Silver, and Black—and then invites those already claimed by their Courts to join the vampires who will be their Makers.

Revar offers the Foundlings who are left a gentle, knowing smile, and then allows them to be chosen. They are like the last sheep left at the auction, and the vampires who take them may not be the enthused about it. Nevertheless, Revar waits patiently until all have found a maker.

Now that they are paired up it is expected—indeed, required—that the initiate drink from their maker. That is their Beginning. Only once they have truly begun can they can be considered novices.

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AUTUMN NOX

Silver Court is in season and for the Autumn Nox it holds a large symposium, inviting all the best vampire minds from around lands nearby and far. The whole castle is abuzz with new activity. The stables are packed full of horses, carriages litter the grounds, but somehow the castle has enough rooms to house all the new arrivals.

Novices will find that some of these vampires have not seen a human-novice in a very, very long time. These vampires might see the human-novices more like specimens, curious about their every move. They won't bite, but novices may find themselves observed as they wander the castle and its grounds.

The symposium itself is open to anyone at the castle. Scholars can present on any topic at all. Novices will find that these range from the incredibly mundane (you've always wanted to attend a history of bottom-feeding river fish, haven't you?) to the truly fascinating (new insights into how vampire hearts work) to the downright strange (the symposium has a range of lectures very close to dawn about the sharing of vampire...fluids). Seasoned novices with their own Autumn classes to attend are expected to keep up with their studies, but some teachers may let them out of a session to attend the lectures and workshops of the symposium.

The Silver Court vampires are incredibly busy between running the symposium and trying to help the new novices get settled in. They may need some volunteers to lend a hand with setting up rooms or helping scholars find their way around. In fact, volunteers might find themselves leading scholars down to the second kitchen for a bite to eat, a strong reminder that even these demure learners are still monsters who must drink blood.

PUMPKINS-GONE-WILD

The symposium isn't all that the autumn season brings. The Silver Court’s talents are on display in other ways—sometimes not in ways another had particularly hoped. An overly zealous youngblood in the Silver Court tried to grow a few extra pumpkins for the occasion and ended up with a few too many! The pumpkin vines break out of the green house and start sprouting pumpkins everywhere. These are no ordinary pumpkins, they will sprout and grow and become fully formed in the course of a night. Better keep an eye out for those vines or else your room might become full of pumpkins! Luckily, the pumpkins aren’t rotting any time soon (they’ll last until winter, or so the Silver Court vampires are saying), but it can be pretty inconvenient for them to grow everywhere. Start cutting those vines to pieces, and hope they don’t try to entangle you in the process.

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LIBRARY CLEAN-UP

Meanwhile, with all the scholars in town are making a mess of the library, much to the Silver Court vampire’s dismay. Books are being checked out and not checked back in, passed around from scholar to scholar. You might find those lost books just about anywhere. Who was reading in a tree? Anyone who collects the books and returns them to the library is sure to get a little bit of favor with the librarians, and it’s never a bad thing to have a bit of an in with a Court. If you’re worried about failing Silver Court, it’s time to get searching! Although how you’re going to convince a 300 year old vampire that time is not fake and that deadlines are real (and in fact were two days ago) is anyone’s guess.

UNETHICAL EXPRIMENTS

[CW: Torture, experiments]

Those who venture towards the basement might hear something a little different than normal. The thralls who spend their time down there are normally quiet, commanded to keep silent and pleasant for the vampires they serve. But with the arrival of the new scholars comes disquieting, inhuman screams from the darker reaches of the basement. Novices trying to catch a glimpse will be chased away, but teachers might be invited to watch as these vampires experiment on one another, all in the name of science. What’s a little torture, when you’re undying?

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Thanks for joining us for our first TDM! For any questions regarding the TDM prompts, please comment in the thread below. For general game questions, please check the FAQ/Game Info. Remember that the game proper will begin mid December, in the Winter Season, so Students/Novices should create their prompts under the assumption that the TDM takes place during the season prior to the one they will be apping as.

Comments

Kevin Regnard | Pandora Hearts | Student | Blue

[unghosting]

Arrival

[One of the new arrivals looks as though he's been to Hell and only just come back -- gaunt, pale, scowling, and he carries himself with his shoulders hunched as though he'd like very much to fade away into the walls where he won't be seen. Bandages cover the left side of his face, despite the presence of skilled healers within the castle who should have rendered such things unnecessary. And, presently, he is trying to get the thrall who's been tending to him to give him his tattered old cloak back.

For a few tense moments, anyone watching wouldn't be wrong to think he was getting ready to attack the thrall outright. But the servant is so placid and pleasant that he stops, the expression on his face shifting to a concerned sort of horror.]

...you've no thoughts of your own, have you...?

[Whatever else this guy may be, it seems he is at least unwilling to have a go at someone who isn't in control of themselves. But he doesn't release the cloak, and neither does the thrall. He'll have to be persuaded to let the ratty old thing go.]


Pumpkins [cw: mentions of suicidal ideation]

[Time passes. Kevin is not convinced he wants to exist, but his maker has managed to earn his grudging respect, and he hasn't exactly settled on how he'd like to not exist, either. So, he goes along with things and watches and considers, and after a time, he decides to do an experiment or two.

Nothing like the creepy things going on in the basement, mind. No, Kevin is just pushing some boundaries a little.

After the pumpkin explosion, he can occasionally be found slinking around the grounds with pumpkins that still have live vines attached to them, which he deposits in the most inconvenient spots he can find. Next to doors with heavy traffic. Underneath tables in the dining hall. In a shadowy corner next to a painting he's taken a particular dislike to. Anyone who tries to investigate is met with a flat:]

It is my project for Revelry.

[And then, if allowed to finish up his little pumpkin tasks, he will deposit himself somewhere nearby with a bag of jelly beans and wait to see if anything funny happens. Spoilers: He does not have a "Revelry project". Deadly vampires with supernatural powers tripping over pumpkin vines is just sort of emotionally satisfying as a concept, you know?]


Meanwhile, elsewhere in the castle

[Kevin has no interest in the symposium -- or in most of his classes, let's be real -- and he especially hates being eyed like a steak by all these extra vampires. Despite his initial misgivings about the thralls, he finds his escape from all the annoying fuss down in the kitchen, where the servants see to it that the novices are fed. It can't really be called companionable, given the circumstances. But Kevin was a sort of servant himself, back before all the everything, and his grief for what he's lost is in a spot where the nostalgia of the bustling kitchen is more comfort than it isn't.

He won't speak up if any other novices appear, searching for food. But they're welcome to recognize him as the quiet, surly swordsman who silently roams the Blue Court halls sometimes, and lurks at the back of some of the first season courses. Kevin looks far more at ease now than he does elsewhere, sleeves rolled to the elbow as he peels potatoes, with a thrall seated next to him who helpfully hands him more when he runs out.]

Arrival

[playing_hearts]

Is that cloak something really precious to you?

[As a fellow new arrival, Alice had found the burning of her own dress to be wasteful, but she wasn't emotionally attached to it. Still, the thralls will not take no for an answer. She suspects they can't.]

[unghosting]

[The vulnerable, almost frightened look he shoots her way, like an animal backed into a corner, would imply a yes. But it isn't quite the cloak itself, exactly. It wasn't given to him by a certain loved one or anything like that. It kept him warm enough during his nights on the streets, but it's not as though he wants a reminder of having nothing to live for anymore but the notion that those who wronged his family would end at his hand. Never prone to speaking his feelings, Kevin fidgets, struggling to articulate the real problem.]

...that old life, it was taken from me. Before the vampires. To burn this last thing left --

[He's already had everything he once treasured ripped out of his hands. That they would so casually take away the last tangible thing in his possession from that time and give it a violent end, it's hitting too close to home.]

[playing_hearts]

[Oh, so it's not the cloak itself but rather what the cloak symbolizes. That makes it harder.]

It seems like they want to take everything from us. Everything we were...

[Her tone is gentle and a little sad.]

I'm sorry but... could you consider cooperating? I know it isn't easy but I'm afraid the thralls might be punished if we put up too much of a fight.

[unghosting]

[In a better time, Kevin might laugh at her phrasing; he has the sort of personality where, some days, considering cooperating is the best anyone's going to get out of him. Just now, the notion of people who can't fight back being used to force their good behavior makes him wince.]

They would, wouldn't they? Those vampires.

[He has a lot of blood on his hands that he doesn't regret even a little bit, but those people deserved it. The thralls do not. Arguably can't, since they don't even have the power to misbehave in the first place.]

Such a cruel existence.

[Still, he has to steel himself before he allows the tattered fabric to fall from his hand. He curls it into a fist and brings it close to his chest as the thrall gives a small bow and heads off to complete their task. Their expression doesn't change even a little.]

Elsewhere

[flagofbone]

[Harlock crept down to the kitchen, his body language was enough to say that he wasn't here to flitch some food or volunteer for kitchen duty. He pauses, debating on whether to call out to the swordsman or not, before he decided to go ahead]

Needed something to cut up that wouldn't get you in hot water?

[unghosting]

[The accusation earns a smug little smile, though he doesn't really look up from the current potato. Kevin's always had a bratty streak, and while he really did try to behave in the old days, there is little that pleases him more than the joy of getting away with nonsense. The notion that he's starting to get enough of a reputation here that he'd get that as a greeting makes him feel a little more like himself.]

Too much excitement upstairs. All these bookworm vampires in tizzies, getting underfoot.

[flagofbone]

[Or perhaps Harlock felt like cutting someone himself. He picks up a bottle, examining the label idly as he speaks, and seeming to be testing it's heft for a second before placing it back on the counter with a slight shake of disapproval at the drink.]

It's a lot louder than I'd expect from scholarly types.

[unghosting]

That kind is noisy when excited.

[He watches Harlock investigate the bottle from the corner of his eye. Just what, he wonders, does one need to test the heft of a bottle for. Perhaps there is to be a shenanigan?]

Pumpkins

[timidheart]

[Mayoi is like a little shadow. He likes to keep his head down, and one might easily miss him among the crowds, or in class, or what have you. For being scouted to the Blue Court, he does not seem someone particularly interested in revelry, but he is nigh impossible to scare when it came to their Court's little tricks with the nightterrors.]

[However, that does not mean he isn't easy to startle, and that he is always aware of his surroundings. It does take a particularly well placed pumpkin to catch him off guard, and the feeling of something tangling his ankle gets a shrill, horrified shriek out of the normally dead quiet novice.]

Hiiiiieee!

[Kevin is treated not just to him shouting, but also the hilarious yet still somehow graceful way Mayoi manages to scale the wall in order to twist free of the vines, finding himself clinging to a bit of upper structure like some kind of sticky spider.]

P-P-Pumpkin, why is there a pumpkin-!?

[unghosting]

[-- oh shit, this is a good one. How is it that this guy is slithering up the wall? Is this some sort of vampire trick that he could also learn? He can see this being a very useful skill when there aren't any good ledges around to parkour off of.

Idly munching a jelly bean, Kevin approaches, observing his handiwork here. He is too full of depression at the moment to feel a warm fuzzy, but he hears in Mayoi's shriek the potential for warm fuzzies yet to come.]

Why indeed?

[timidheart]

[Oh god and there is a person here now. Awful! Bad! He wants to die!]

I-I've heard that they've caused problems in the castle but- A-Ah...

[Hold on, he will slither down ever so gently. He knows this guy from class so he is not immediately bolting, though he is starting to figure out what's going on.]

You are ...Kevin?

[unghosting]

Mm.

[If Mayoi has been very astute, he may note that the wordless little hum is in a much more pleasant tone than the usual "hn" grunts he lets out when attention is directed at him in class. It seems he is in a nicer mood today?

He munches another jelly bean and makes no move to offer any, or to help with the vines.]

arrival

[infinitevision]

Satoru doesn't normally involve himself with the newbies much -- what he's interested in, the newbies don't have, so luckily for them, they're generally not within his scope of interest. But he's passing through when he hears one of the new arrivals getting in an argument with a thrall, and despite himself, curiosity catches hold.

"Nope," he says airily. "They're enthralled. Means they only think about whatever their task is, and they'll complete it at all costs."

He eyes the tattered thing that's held between them, frowning in thought. Sometimes the newbies are attached to the things they bring in when they're meant to be burned, and while Satoru normally doesn't give much of a shit, he's feeling magnanimous today. Fuck symbolism, right?

"Let it go. He's allowed to keep his cloak," he tells the thrall, smiling and pleasant, golden eyes mostly hidden by his sunglasses, power saturating his words. The thrall drops it like its molten metal, and scurries off. Satoru cheerfully waves goodbye. "I've never been a fan of symbolism," he confides breezily. "I think they just burn your stuff so you won't be in anything that's not super fancy."

[unghosting]

And just like that, the confrontation is over. The cloak falls unfolded as the thrall lets go, and Kevin bundles the sorry thing up in his arms, clasping it close to his chest. The vampire's observation is met with a scoff.

"It's not fit to be worn."

He's well aware of the garment's condition; he didn't want to keep it so he could keep using it. Keeping it stuffed beneath his pillow to clutch onto like some shredded teddy bear will suit the scary serial killer just fine.

The crisis passed, he eyes the other askance, his expression guarded. The thrall listened to this person, so he must be a vampire. Kevin does not expect kindness from vampires to come without some sort of catch.

[infinitevision]

"Ugh, don't tell me you're already buying into the Obligatory Fancy Clothes Ethos," Satoru groans, clasping a hand over his heart like he's been mortally wounded. "That cloak's fine."

Says the guy in a kimono. In his defense, it's one of his more simple ones, a plain black in defiance of the social mores of typically wearing your Court's color. He just doesn't jive with brocaded coats, okay.

"Anyway, you'll want to keep that hidden, because if any of the other vamps find you with it, you'll probably get taken to the torture basement," he adds airily. "Or, even funnier, I will for letting you get away with it, if you snitch on me."

He slaps a hand down on the newbie's shoulder, and goes to start steering him toward the novice rooms. "Here, let's find your room, I'll give you the grand tour. I watched them being set up earlier, I can even make sure you get a good one!"

[unghosting]

Kevin is not averse to being touched, in general. But he's fresh out of a time in his life that was spent on the run from the law, and it ended in vampires far stronger than he violently snatching him up and carrying him off. He just barely manages not to smack Satoru's hand away, but he does hunch defensively beneath it, and plants himself firmly in place rather than going along with him.

"-- why?"

There has to be something in it for this guy. Is he expecting that a favor early on will earn him Kevin's loyalty in whatever stupid court drama passes for politics around here, or...?

Pumpkins

[midlifecryseas]

[ It's not unusual to see first seasons wandering around the castle exploring, or even cutting through the pumpkin vines that are almost everywhere right now. What catches Ed's interest is a first year carrying one of those pumpkins, though. What's he going to do with it, make a pie?

After the trap is set and the novice has sat himself down to watch the ensuing chaos, Edward is at his side, seemingly out of nowhere, asking what he's up to. Revelry, huh? Edward's smile is placid, his voice full of casual curiosity. ]

Ah. And... Which teacher assigned you that lesson?

[unghosting]

[Kevin does jump skittishly at the abrupt arrival, but recovers with remarkable grace, considering the state of his nerves. Stalling with a jelly bean, he pauses to consider whether he might like to throw any of the faculty he's met thus far under the vampire bus.




...nah, he's not been here long enough yet to feel quite comfy using anyone else's name in his silliness. He will own this one, and see what happens.]

It is of my own devising. Independent study, you know.

[He munches another jelly bean unrepentantly.]

[midlifecryseas]

[ This human novice's pulse is really racing, isn't it? Edward can practically see the throb of it there in his neck. His cat-like smile doesn't flicker. ]

Independent study? In your first season? So industrious.

[ Edward can smell the jellybeans, too. He remembers the taste of sugar. Misses the fuck out of it. He inhales deeply, entirely for effect; his eyes narrow and his head tilts just so. ]

Quick question. What part of tripping innocent passers-by do you think counts as revelry?

[unghosting]

[Kevin goes very still. There's a potential for deep disapproval in those words depending on his answer, he thinks, and he is not so stupid and careless that he doesn't realize that's a very dangerous thing to inspire in a vampire. He's fought vampires, fought against being brought here at all, and knows damn well he's outmatched in his current state.

But that doesn't stop him from turning to look the vampire dead in the eye, a cold anger flickering in the one that's visible. Kevin is an anxious creature, but there are certain things he just can't bend about if he doesn't want to feel completely disgusting.]

If you mean to scold me for looking for a bit of a laugh in causing harmless inconvenience in a castle full of predators who trap humans in their own minds at their leisure, it would save you a great deal of time to knock my head from my shoulders and save me from this farce.

Pumpkins

[aria_ardeinae]

[ Reyson is peacefully having himself a nice gloomy dinner. He's been having stronger cravings for flesh, and more of it in general. This is in defiance of his usual constitution. Or his old constitution. This is normal now. He's quietly working himself into a snit over eating this greasy bird - it's not actually about the bird, it's about taking yet another step away from the person he used to be and what certain people would think of him now if they were alive -

And then a pumpkin drags his broody ass under the table. ]

Ah! Yaaaugh!

[ There is a sound as if someone who is unused to having supernatural strength has just punched a pumpkin and put his hand right through it. It sounds kind of like TkkSPLORCH. ]

Blast it.

[unghosting]

[Oh dear, what a direly unpleasant noise. Kevin bets the pumpkin gore beneath the table looks just as bad as that explosion sounded, and that the prissy fellow he's caught is going to have a world of trouble getting all that out of his long hair.

Long hair is awful for this sort of thing. Kevin should know.

He could simply slink away to enjoy this brief burst of amusement in private, for what little time it sticks around before he's back to his own gloom. But his handiwork is presently underneath a table, and he would really like to see it, he thinks. A nice little mental image that he can think about instead of remembered massacres. So, depending on how Reyson is oriented beneath the table, he may see a long white ponytail swinging into view, followed by a pretty face with a pleasant expression that doesn't completely disguise how gaunt and worn-out its owner still is.]

...ohhhh. That's a proper mess.

[aria_ardeinae]

[ Reyson glares balefully up at the insouciant witness to his disgrace. He would like it to be a majestic glare like a mighty bird of prey but the vibes are a little more like a cat who has fallen into the bath and is hiding under the bed about it. The innards of the pumpkin hang in his hair like a majestic yet gloppy tiara. There is a considerable amount on his outfit, as well. At least it sort of matches; the off-white skin of the pumpkins where it has stuck facing outwards and the gold-adjacent flesh.... No, okay. It doesn't. He prefers to wear white with gold edging and highlights, not liking how he looks in too much black. It is occurring to him now that oh there is a practical reason for the black in a situation where you might regularly get organic fluids on yourself.

He shakes out his hand, having to withdraw it from what remains of the shell, and winces. ]

I may have cracked a bone.

[ He sounds a little pleased with himself, in a stunned sort of way. He punched something so hard it exploded. It is kind of an ego boost? On one level he would have liked to not have done that, on the other... it exploded and he did it with his own power. ]

Pass me a napkin, if you would. I can't come back out like this.

[unghosting]

[Okay, but to be fair, pumpkin guts would not exactly blend in on black, either.

Kevin politely hands over not one napkin, but two. Probably this guy cannot actually see the full extent of the damage here. He is going to need two.]

You've got some in your hair.

[He says helpfully, as though he did not cause the problem in the first place. Maybe he will not admit it. Maybe it will be even funnier later if there is some sort of grand reveal of secret troublemaking. This guy hasn't done anything to make Kevin dislike him as of yet -- this is something that sometimes happens in about half a second, so that is notable actually -- so maybe there will be an opportunity for this prank to have a second life later, if he leaves it be.]

What's this about a cracked bone?