undyingmods: (Default)
undyingmods ([personal profile] undyingmods) wrote in [community profile] undyingcourt2024-01-20 10:33 am

january tdm/event post

JANUARY TDM - WINTER DREAMS
Welcome to the Undying Court's January Test Drive Meme! This post also functions as the January Event for existing characters, and continues the Winter Season, led by the Blue Court.

New characters may handwave or backdate the previous season's arrival prompt should they wish to, but you may otherwise assume they've been here the whole time! Additionally, all TDM threads can be taken as in-game canon if desired. And remember that apps open February 3-7, with invites opening on January 28, and reserves not long after!

Note that this post will contain: violence, enthrallment, torture, slavery, horror and potentially sexual content. Dreams come in many forms, after all.

This event also features another chance for characters to submit Regains, so make sure to submit after you've posted your top-level or reply to someone else's dream. For characters both new and old, feel free to brush up on the Premise, Vampire Powers, and head over to the FAQ/Game Info page if you have any questions!

  • Note that this event will be occurring throughout the month of January and into February, so characters are free to forward-date as desired!
  • For new characters please format your Top-level in this format: Character Name | Canon | Court | Youngblood/Novice | TDM
  • For existing characters please format your Top-level in this format: Character Name | Court | Youngblood/Novice
  • If you have any questions specific to the event, ask them in the Plotting Post Q&A section!




Top-Level Directory:Chat with NPC: Kashire & Revar
New characters:
Anthony Lockwood - Lockwood and Co | Gold (Youngblood) | TDM
Ash - Original | Blue (Youngblood) | TDM
Cotton Cookie - Cookie Run Kingdom | Blue (Novice) | TDM
Enrico Pucci - JJBA: Stone Ocean | Gold (Novice) | TDM
Hayan Park - Unholy Blood | Blue (Novice) | TDM
Hayato Ichimonji - Kamen Rider | Blue (Youngblood) | TDM
Laios Touden - Dungeon Meshi | Silver (Youngblood) | TDM
Leonard "Bones" McCoy - Star Trek: AOS | Silver (Youngblood) | TDM
Norton Campbell - Identity V | Blue (Youngblood) | TDM
Prince Phillip - Sleeping Beauty | Gold (Novice) | TDM
Suguru Geto - Jujutso Kaisen | Black (Youngblood) | TDM
Sven "Snufkin" Snusmumriken - Moomins | Silver (Youngblood) | TDM
Wyll Ravengard - Balder's Gate 3 | Red (Novice) | TDM
Yasuho Hirose - JJBA-Part 8 | Gold (Novice) | TDM
Yuri (Accellerator) - A Certain Magical Index | Silver (Novice) | TDM

Character Name - Canon | Court (Youngblood/Novice) | TDM

Existing characters:
Conrad Achenleck - Red (Youngblood)
Daria Morgendorffer - Silver (Youngblood)
Eden Woods - Silver (Novice)
Edgin Darvis - Blue (Youngblood)
Erwin Smith - Silver (Youngblood)
Gojo Satoru - Gold (Youngblood)
Harlock - Blue (Novice)
James T. Kirk - Blue (Novice)
Lydia - Red (Youngblood)
Reyson - Gold (Novice)
Snow White - Silver (Novice)
Xenk Yendar - Gold (Youngblood)

Character Name - Court (Youngblood/Novice)

ONCE UPON A DREAM
A quiet falls over the Castle as a new day begins to break. As with every morning, this is a time when vampires must retreat to avoid the rays of the sun, pulling heavy curtains around their beds and windows to block out any light. However, this particular morning is abnormally quiet as the whole of the Castle seems to fall asleep all at once, and all together. After this enchanted sleep, and for the the next thirty days, the Castle's residents will start to experience strange phenomena within their dreams.

During this period, dreams become more vivid, so realistic it feels like the dreamer is awake. Dreamers can pass into each other's dreams without meaning to. Some of these dreams are in fact memories--either those from the lives the characters have lived in the Castle and the outlying lands, or the strange memories they've begun to gain back.

But be careful! For what starts as a regular memory might start to warp into something new. If you're lucky, it'll be something positive, like a dream of a home you've always wanted. But if you're unlucky, the memory might twist and turn into a nightmare, catching you in it and turning your worst fears against you.

Each nightfall, everyone will wake and return to normal. Or at least, most people will.

[Note: Any current characters who participate in the dream event by creating a top level or tagging someone else at least once in this prompt may be rewarded with a free impactful memory, which may be used in the dreamscape. Don't forget to submit for your Regains!]
A NIGHTMARISH CURSE
It turns out that not everyone wakes up. Those who stay in nightmares for too long may find themselves cursed, and unable to wake up. At first, the curse appears no different from regular sleep. But a few hours in the victim will start screaming uncontrollably. No touch will wake them, no amount of calling their name will break the spell. After too long, the victim will start to bleed, slowly at first, and then more and more as they remain afflicted. A victim left unattended will bleed out and die.

The Council works quickly to step in. Kashire (who is looking rather frayed this season) delivers the news that there's no need to panic, but everyone will need to do their part in locating and curing victims. In fact, the youngbloods seem to be taking this as the perfect opportunity for a teaching moment, and students are expected to try and find a cure with the skills that match their Court. Novices and youngbloods alike are encouraged to try and help lift the curse from anyone they can. (Get creative! Blood heals many wounds...) Any victims that have progressed too far will need to be seen to by Revar.

The nightmare curse, however, can spread quickly. Anyone who enters the nightmare of a victim will fall victim to the curse. Additionally, any attempt to reach out to the mind of a curse victim will also spread the curse. With the combined efforts of the students and teachers, the curse can be completely put out. But it will take time and care to ensure everyone is found in time, and cured safely.
ANYWAY, WINTER GAMES!
But a few curses aren't going to stop the Blue Court from making sure everyone has a good time. The days might be short, and weighed down by the threats of nightmares, but winter has hit Castle Courtsheart in full force, and the long nights and snow-covered grounds make for an excellent backdrop to the Inter-Court Winter Games!

There isn't really a reward for the winning house besides bragging rights and maybe a trophy that doubles as a chalice, but youngbloods and novices alike are invited to join in the festivities and compete against one another in the spirit of glory and the chance to lord over your Court's superiority. Even Council members and mature vampires of each court seem to enjoy cheering on their respective teams from the stands. Everything is fine! Forget your troubles and go play in the snow.

What kind of sports do vampires play? Feel free to get creative, but here are some examples:
  • Thrall-Curling: Since vampiric strength proves to be a little too much for this sport otherwise, teams of novices (or youngbloods) of the same Court can team up to gently compel their thralls to play the thrilling sport of curling. Coax that stone across the ice with care, and take out the opposing team! Or, well, the thralls will do that, assuming they're guided well. Try not to break them. (The thralls, that is.)

  • Figure skating: Practicing your pirouettes? For a vampire, a quadruple-axel is hardly worth breaking a sweat over. Favored for its beauty and almost seductive grace, the figure skating competition will be scored and judged by a multi-court panel. Participants might get extra points for incorporating bladework and masking into their sets, so these performances are sure to wow the judges.

  • Ice Hockey: Yes, the high-contact sport transcends time and space, but vampires don't need silly things like helmets or padded safety gear. Don your court's colors and hit the ice to toss the puck around and score as many points against the opposing team as you can before the time runs out. Violence is encouraged! Everyone likes to see a bit of blood on the ice this time of year. (Shadowstepping is considered cheating, but only if you get caught.)
And more! Snowball fighting may not be a sport, but there's no better time to enjoy the outdoors and stretch those growing fangs and muscles than the dead of winter. So whether you're cheering on your Court or watching from the sidelines, there's something here for everyone. Just because the castle is full of the the undead doesn't mean they can't have a little winter fun.
CLASS NOTES
Other notable happenings for the early winter season include:
  • Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and maybe it's time to find or make gifts for that special blood claim in your life. This season blood jewelry is the hot ticket item. These are pieces made from precious metal and glass, which hold the blood of a vampire in them. Carry a lover's blood to show how much you love them, or carry your own to force down the throat of your enemies so you can influence them.

  • Whispers around school start to say that Black Court lost a novice this month. Not murder this time! He simply unmade himself trying to mistwalk. Eh, these things happen.

  • As a result of a tie in last month's pumpkin carving contest, members of the Black and Red Courts will find small packages outside their doors. They are gifted silver letter openers, with the handle inlaid with pumpkins and leaves, and a note from Revar with a little drawing of a pumpkin and their signature. How nice!

  • Lady Whisperfangs is quiet for now, but her time is yet to come... This month's check-in will have a field to submit gossip about your characters! Vampires do so love their drama.


Once again, characters are free to talk to the NPCs as well: Revar & Kashire. For any questions regarding this month's prompts, please comment in the Plotting Post. For general game questions, please check the FAQ/Game Info. In the meantime, remember to submit your Regains for this month's free reward, and keep an eye out for our AC Check-in next week, starting on January 25-31.

The new year has brought us plenty of thirsty vampires, so we're glad you're here to share them with you!

galacticmalpractice: (13)

[personal profile] galacticmalpractice 2024-02-02 03:58 am (UTC)(link)
[ Bones draws his lips into a thin line. That's a question he's yelled and hollered about, even threatened to hurt people over before.

But he can tell Edgin isn't asking to be an asshole. And Joanna's right there, she wouldn't want to see her daddy mouthing off like some asshole.
]

No, I... Shit, it terrifies me.

[ That's a truth clawed from his chest. Why is it so easy to talk to Edgin? Is it just that he has a trustworthy face? Or that he knows how it feels? ]

She'll know I'm a monster.
prizedstallion: by merriestchase (Touched)

[personal profile] prizedstallion 2024-02-02 04:09 am (UTC)(link)
[Too late, Bones, you're never getting rid of him regardless. You're stuck with him for the rest of your unlife.]

What can I say, I want to know you, Bones.

[His voice is a little lower, his smile sincere, there's no bravado and humor there, just honest wish to get to know the man that he's dancing with. The dance is good and careful, it's obvious Bones isn't a natural, but he wasn't bad it and really, it was one hell of a way to get Bones all to himself for a bit.

Too bad for Bones that Kirk doesn't feel like an asshole for asking. Bones brought her up first really.
]

Oh, well her loss, my gain. Maybe you can think of it as something you do with me now, huh? Maybe you'll grow to like it again.

[Kirk is fucking sunshine burning through a storm cloud.]
galacticmalpractice: (05)

you're good!!! I need to learn not to think up jokes after posting...

[personal profile] galacticmalpractice 2024-02-02 04:11 am (UTC)(link)
[ Don't even sweat it, Lockwood, you've got old man privilege and youth privilege so you're getting off Scott free as far as Bones is concerned.

Gloves and everything. Man, he doesn't do anything by halves, does he?
]

Wow, my hero.

[ He says that sarcastically, but the gesture is obviously appreciated. Bones doesn't bother with any of the more graceful moves with his hands, but he knows how to take instructions, and he knows when to do a spin and how to follow a lead.

It's actually... kinda fun? He would have enjoyed this kind of thing once upon a time. He isn't exactly smiling, but he's focused enough on the dance that he isn't grumbling about anything else. That's a huge win.
]

Been a couple days, not too long. Got in some trouble for skipping Autumn Nox, so they called me back.
galacticmalpractice: (02)

[personal profile] galacticmalpractice 2024-02-02 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
[ You better pick those up, Dodger! Bones doesn't throw his best scalpels, but they're still valuable medical equipment. ]

Obviously. They've got you, after all.

[ What does Dodger do around the castle? It's a mystery. Blue Court shit. ]

Wish you'd pay me in peace and fucking quiet. That's a rare enough resource around here.
why_worry: (oliverandcompanyicon_4)

[personal profile] why_worry 2024-02-02 04:18 am (UTC)(link)
[Look! He at least picks up after himself when he causes a problem, there's no worry of those scalpels staying on the ground!]

I'm hurt, Leo, really. [Oh look, another nickname and he's pretending to look like he's actually hurt by this. Hand over the heart and a frown and everything!!! Except it lasts all of two seconds.]

I was content to just watch silently until you tossed a scalpel at me, you know. And I do things around here, I teach like almost everyone else here.
prizedstallion: (Confident Smirk)

[personal profile] prizedstallion 2024-02-02 04:21 am (UTC)(link)
[Kirk looks up at the other, blinking. He's not seen him before and he looks young, about his age maybe younger. Not that that means much for vampires, for all Kirk knows this guy could be 100 years old, but still, he doesn't feel immediately on edge like he's gonna get skewered for saying the wrong thing. Probably because this person doesn't immediately give off dangerous vampire vibes.

Not that it really stops him from saying exactly what he's thinking most of the time.
]

Honestly, never given a gift before, especially one that matters this much, so.. I don't know, I want it to be perfect.

[Still, he smiles right back.]

Jim Kirk, by the way.
recklessenough: (pic#16336866)

It was a good joke though!

[personal profile] recklessenough 2024-02-02 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
[ If he has the opportunity to be just that much extra chances are Lockwood will take it. He's a bit melodramatic like that.

Lockwood doesn't take the sarcasm to heart. He actually enjoys Bones' sharp edges, even when he missteps and comes up against them himself. Despite the prickly walls and keep out signs the Silver young blood keeps wrapped around himself, Lockwood has always found the other vampire to be beautifully honest, if brutal at times. Living, as he does, in the world of political machinations, Bones' directness is a godsend.

As such, Lockwood doesn't try to coax out smiles, or ask any more of Bones than getting out on the dance floor with him. He keeps his dance moves to the pace of the music, doesn't try to push anything fancy or any sort of flare. He is happy with as much as Bones is willing to unbend, and doesn't press for more. It really, already is a huge win and Lockwood is enjoying himself. ]


You blew off Silver's big to do, were already in trouble, and yet you still came? [ He teases gently, because he knows it is not beyond Bones to say screw it and keep giving the Council the middle finger. Especially if he's already in trouble. ] What did Revar promise?
recklessenough: (pic#16336865)

[personal profile] recklessenough 2024-02-02 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
[ Lockwood is doing his best to come across as harmless lil ole me. He could try to compel, but he doesn't feel that is necessary, and prefers to attempt his charming the old fashion way. ]

A pleasure. [ He says with a small bow of his head. ] Anthony Lockwood. Everybody calls me Lockwood. Do you prefer Jim or Kirk?

[ As he awaits an answer, Lockwood cranes his head around and tries to get a read on the book in front of the novice. ] I could regale you with all the cliche' 'it's the thought that counts', but I think we can do better than that. What are you thinking of making, oh and I suppose 'for whom' might be a good question as well?
undyingcouncil: (Revar)

[personal profile] undyingcouncil 2024-02-02 04:51 am (UTC)(link)
[ There's definitely something about the way that Eden phrases it that gets Revar's attention, but as much as the memory stuff that's been going around is fascinating, they have a much bigger problem with the nightmare victims. ]

See what you can come up with. [ then, a little more gently: ] If you end up needing help, perhaps you should talk to Karma.
enchantibiotic: (zinc)

[personal profile] enchantibiotic 2024-02-02 04:53 am (UTC)(link)
Indeed?

[ She sounds surprised, but a smile slips through. While she tends to keep her disapproval of some vampires at her level or higher to herself, she does enjoy when the arrogant ones get their just desserts. Which arrogant ones? Well, one could throw a dart in a crowded room and be sure to hit one of them. ]

Your talents will serve you well, as long as you don't take a beating every time you accomplish such a feat.

wolframite: (009 | prospector)

no worries!

[personal profile] wolframite 2024-02-02 04:55 am (UTC)(link)
Unfortunately for you and your sensibilities, it's Blue's season. That means everyone has to act like they're ready and willing to feel like they've just done several bottles at the end of the day. [Then he wrinkles his nose. Here's where his pseudo-Red sensibilities come in. What's the point of revelry without alcohol?] Just without the actual bottles of bloodwine.

[Look, he came from the streets, he was just a common guy before all this happened, and becoming a vampire hasn't changed his enjoyment of alcohol one bit.

Honestly, why is he in Blue? Oh right, because he likes being a monster.]
juiceofthevine: (inkonic d&d hat edgin (45))

[personal profile] juiceofthevine 2024-02-02 05:02 am (UTC)(link)
I mean, sure. But you're still her dad.

[ And implicit in there is maybe the thing he doesn't say, that Bones has the option of doing so, while he doesn't.

But he's nice enough he'll give him an out ]


How old is she, now? Is this [he gestures at the scene ] ...current? Or at least, what you think would be?
Edited 2024-02-02 05:24 (UTC)
galacticmalpractice: (11)

[personal profile] galacticmalpractice 2024-02-02 05:04 am (UTC)(link)
[ What is it about Jim that makes his sincerity hit right? Bones really can't figure him out. He almost believes that he really wants to know him. He has to ask. ]

...Why?

[ It makes him feel something, that Jim doesn't just pity him for the wife thing. That he just takes that in stride, or like he means what he says. Dammit. If Bones weren't so focused on dancing, he'd probably have harsher words for Jim, but mostly he's just... confused?

There's no part of Leonard that would want to forget the dancing he did with his ex-wife, but he doesn't hate this either. Which is why he has to grumble, and act like he truly hates this.
]

Don't push your luck, kid. If you really wanna talk, we don't gotta dance for that. Though playin' 20 questions ain't my idea of fun, either.
beigeacademia: (realisation)

wildcard - forwarddated to after the nightmares? lemme know if anything should be changed

[personal profile] beigeacademia 2024-02-02 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
[It’s after one of Bone’s lab classes or something, and Elias is helping out to reset the lab for the next class; making sure the chemicals are restocked, there’s chalk to be written with, and so on. There’s probably a thrall he’s dictating notes to on what supplies need to be fetched.

But that’s all set dressing. The main point of this thread is HOT GOSSIP.]


Hey, Dr. Leonard. [Elias pipes up once it looks like Bones is mostly done packing up.] Did you hear about that wonder novice several courts are interested in? Kirk, the one currently in Blue? What do you think about him?

[If this were just Xenk he’d stay in his lane, but he’s heard from the grapevine that 1) Lockwood from Gold is also hitting Kirk up 2) Kirk hit Bones up during the Winter Sol. It’s too much for him to stay out of it for loyalty to Xenk, man. He’s tempted to play multiple sides. For science.]
serpendipity: (F73)

[personal profile] serpendipity 2024-02-02 05:11 am (UTC)(link)
I suppose I should...

[ It still feels weird having a maker that was present, she could forget that it was such an option. It certainly sounded like she needed the reminder. The habit of a few months compared to the few short weeks. This seemed like a good moment, thinking her work could get checked, but Revar was like the grandmother that raised her; saying you had to go find out if it's right yourself. ]

First thing I should probably do is make sure these herbs actually are here in the castle and get to work on this. Anything you want help with first?
galacticmalpractice: (06)

[personal profile] galacticmalpractice 2024-02-02 05:27 am (UTC)(link)
[ Bones releases a sigh, those words hitting him deep in his heart. It's true that he'll always be her father, but... in a way, that's what scares him. ]

She deserves... not this. [ He gestures towards his... everything. ] Someone better than me.

[ Sorry, Edgin, this dad is still deep in his self-loathing era. But it's kind of Edgin to keep him away from that particular thought. ]

Been about ten years, give or take, since the divorce so she'd be... shit, thirteen? Fourteen, maybe? She probably looks even more like her mother, now.

[ He looks back at her, watching the both of them. ]
Edited (icon) 2024-02-02 05:27 (UTC)
galacticmalpractice: (14)

[personal profile] galacticmalpractice 2024-02-02 05:32 am (UTC)(link)
[ More power to him!! Bones may claim to hate melodrama, but his fate is to be bffs with a certain captain of Starfleet who is prone to the biggest dramatics in the galaxy.

Which explains maybe why he's a little endeared on the whole thing. Lockwood may be an old, baby-faced golden boy, but at least he knows how to respect boundaries. Bones may like having his pushed on occasion, but he especially appreciates the people who manage to balance it. It's about respect. You can snark and still respect people, at least Bones thinks so.

And he does respect Lockwood. Hell, he's even enjoying the dance, just don't tell anybody. They will never believe you, Lockwood.
]

Well. [ That does make Bones smile. Like, actually smile. When it comes to his work, Bones has nothing but pride. And he knows Revar was being pretty generous with him, all things considered. ] Let's just say I should be getting my own lab next season. And maybe I won't have to teach as many classes, as long as I take a few shifts at the infirmary.
juiceofthevine: (inkonic d&d hat edgin (79))

[personal profile] juiceofthevine 2024-02-02 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
[ He gets it, though. Zia and Kira had deserved better, too. If it hadn't been for him, they'd still be alive.

Still, his heart breaks a little for Bones. He'd missed out on all the good years. All the growing up. Watching Kira grow up had been Edgin's favorite thing in the whole world.

But he won't say that. That would be cruel; rubbing salt in the wound. ]


It's been ten years for me, too.
galacticmalpractice: (08)

[personal profile] galacticmalpractice 2024-02-02 05:38 am (UTC)(link)
Leo? At least go with Len, that's what my momma used to call me.

[ See, now he's playing along. But maybe also he just hates "Leo," that's not as bad as Bonesy, but it's up there.

He rolls his eyes at Dodger's comment -- that scalpel throw was completely warranted, if you ask him. Calling him "cute" when he's wiping thrall blood off his surgical gear is insulting!
]

You teach kids how to get drunk and turn into dogs. Real useful skills!

[ Novices are not kids, but like. They are to Bones. ]
undyingcouncil: (Revar)

[personal profile] undyingcouncil 2024-02-02 05:38 am (UTC)(link)
[ Another vampire might laugh at the thought of a novice trying to help someone as old as Revar, but Revar just smiles that amused smile of theirs for a moment and shakes their head. ]

That's quite alright. I won't keep you from your work.
juiceofthevine: (edgin14)

[personal profile] juiceofthevine 2024-02-02 05:43 am (UTC)(link)
But I...

[ The rest of it catches in his throat and he simply rests his head against Kirk's. He can feel him slipping away. He's trying to be good and hold himself back. But it's so much harder in this nightmare than it is in real life. ]
serpendipity: (F72)

[personal profile] serpendipity 2024-02-02 05:47 am (UTC)(link)
[ Nothing wrong with offering extra hands for the menial stuff! In some ways, it's more proper to offer than to not. Only because now Eden felt like she was keeping Revar from their work (despite the current 'victim' being fine and taken care of, just waiting for the shock to wear off.) ]

I'll get to that, then-

[ She'll start heading out, pocketing the notebook. Though remembers, walking backwards on the exit. ]

Oh, do you think there'd be a problem if I requested some specific needles being made? There's something else I want to try and work with.
why_worry: (oliver005)

[personal profile] why_worry 2024-02-02 05:48 am (UTC)(link)
[Oh-hoh, him playing along even a little bit bolsters him more than it probably should. Though he does seem to grin even more.]

Len, huh? I'll keep that in mind, then, unless I'm trying to wind you up. [It'll be pretty obvious when he does it, at the very least. Though the eye roll is mostly ignored, until he's talking about the teaching and merely huffs.]

I teach those kiddos chorus, thank you very much. [Among other things, but that's the best one to beat these allegations back with.] Not my fault about what the rest of Blue teaches, but we got some decorum outside of looking like animals and drinking.
galacticmalpractice: (13)

cw mention of alcoholism

[personal profile] galacticmalpractice 2024-02-02 05:48 am (UTC)(link)
[ He really did miss it all. And for what? His father's legacy? The bottom of a bottle? None of that really mattered, Bones knows that now. He had a good thing with Jocelyn and he fucked it all up. She'd kicked him out with good reason... but it still hurts.

It hurts that he couldn't be better. And it hurts that he still isn't.

At least Edgin seems to feel that, too. Leonard hasn't really ever talked about this to anyone, so to find someone who... actually gets it is. Well, it's something.
]

I'm sorry.

[ Sympathy is something Bones is used to giving, actually. He's seen so much death in his line of work, that it's easy. This isn't easy, though. There's nothing easy about knowing how it feels.

It's enough to put things into perspective. Leonard may not have seen his daughter in ten years, but she's alive. Edgin... sounded like that wasn't the case. Leonard can't imagine something hurting worse than that.
]

Shit, I am sorry. I... I'm an asshole.

[ Just in general, but also about this. He knows he's being insensitive. He sees so much death, but it was his father's death that really threw a wrench in him. Losing Joanna would destroy him. ]

You said her name was Kira, right? How old was she?
prizedstallion: (Lost Everything)

[personal profile] prizedstallion 2024-02-02 05:56 am (UTC)(link)
I know.. I--

[He's losing too much blood, he slumps over against Edgin. His grip on the vampire waning. Not because he isn't trying to hold on but the life was leaving him.

He was bleeding gold now as it slowly ebbed from him.
]

All we can do is.. trust each other. You promised not to leave me if I changed... I'm doing my best to trust that. [another wet cough]

Trust me.. to be here even if I go.