[ Kirk is the golden boy. The prized stallion. The one everyone wants. Edgin is just a washed up vampire who plays the lute and gets really sad. He knows there's a big difference here. He doesn't doubt one day Kirk will meet his goals. Edgin doesn't really have any. ]
James, I....
[ He clears his throat. Oh, gods--Founders, whatever--he's really doing this. He's going to tell him. He doesn't want it to be something he said in the dream that doesn't count because he never wants to say it out loud. It's been on the tip of his tongue for awhile now, threatening to come out in the afterglow of sex, lurking around corners of conversation and waiting for Edgin to put his guard down enough that it slips out.
It's just that before, he was always so scared that saying it would push Kirk away. But now he's afraid if he doesn't say it, it'll be too late, and Kirk will never know. ]
I want you to know that what I said in the nightmare about you being someone I love, that's true.
[ Edgin looks down at his hands, fidgeting, but then looks up at Kirk, trying to keep eye contact even though it's hard because this is important. ]
I love you.
And that's why I'm not going anywhere, okay? Because I take that very seriously. I don't leave the people I love behind.
[ In this, his words are confident. He might carry a lot of guilt about how his actions got his family killed, but he never once abandoned them. ]
no subject
[ Kirk is the golden boy. The prized stallion. The one everyone wants. Edgin is just a washed up vampire who plays the lute and gets really sad. He knows there's a big difference here. He doesn't doubt one day Kirk will meet his goals. Edgin doesn't really have any. ]
James, I....
[ He clears his throat. Oh, gods--Founders, whatever--he's really doing this. He's going to tell him. He doesn't want it to be something he said in the dream that doesn't count because he never wants to say it out loud. It's been on the tip of his tongue for awhile now, threatening to come out in the afterglow of sex, lurking around corners of conversation and waiting for Edgin to put his guard down enough that it slips out.
It's just that before, he was always so scared that saying it would push Kirk away. But now he's afraid if he doesn't say it, it'll be too late, and Kirk will never know. ]
I want you to know that what I said in the nightmare about you being someone I love, that's true.
[ Edgin looks down at his hands, fidgeting, but then looks up at Kirk, trying to keep eye contact even though it's hard because this is important. ]
I love you.
And that's why I'm not going anywhere, okay? Because I take that very seriously. I don't leave the people I love behind.
[ In this, his words are confident. He might carry a lot of guilt about how his actions got his family killed, but he never once abandoned them. ]