March TDM/Event - Spring Nox

[undyingmods]

MARCH TDM - SPRING NOX

A NEW SEASON BEGINS

Welcome to the Undying Court's March Test Drive Meme! This post also functions as the March Event for existing characters, as well as the start of the Spring Season, led by the Red Court.

New novices who are in their second season or more may handwave or backdate the previous season's arrival prompts should they wish to, and should otherwise assume they've been here the whole time! Additionally, all TDM threads can be taken as in-game canon if desired. And remember that apps open April 3-7, with invites opening on March 28, and reserves not long after!

Note that this post will contain: violence, enthrallment, slavery, body horror and potentially sexual content. Spring has many surprises! This event also features a chance for characters to submit a free Cosmetic Physical Features Regain, as a reward for the Hanahaki prompt.

Feel free to brush up on the Premise, Vampire Powers, and head over to the FAQ/Game Info page if you have any questions!

• Keep in mind that this event will be occurring throughout the month of March and into April, so characters are free to forward-date as desired!
• For new characters please format your Top-level in this format: Character Name | Canon | Court | Youngblood/Novice | TDM
• For existing characters please format your Top-level in this format: Character Name | Court | Youngblood/Novice
• If you have any questions specific to the event, ask them in the Plotting Post Q&A section!
• Our new Locations page is live! Take a look if you've ever wondered what exactly lies in the castle.

Top-Level Directory:

Chat with NPC: Revar, Kashire, Claudia

New Characters/TDM:
All For The Game - Name - Black Court, Novice
Detroit: Become Human - Connor - Black Court, Novice
Durarara!! - Shizuo Heiwajima - Black Court, Youngblood
Game of Thrones - Daenerys Targaryen - Gold Court, Youngblood
Game of Thrones - Jon Snow - Black Court, Youngblood
Honkai Star Rail - Argenti - Red Court, Youngblood
The Locked Tomb - Harrowhark Nonagesimus - Silver Court, Youngblood
The Locked Tomb - Gideon Nav - Silver Court, Novice
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic - Princess Luna - Black Court, Novice
Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid - Lucoa - Blue Court, Youngblood
Nevermore - Lenore - Blue Court, Novice
Original - Giselle du Sang - Blue Court, Youngblood
Original - Matt Jamison - Red Court, Novice
Original - Sharel Anathrime - Undecided Court, Novice
Return to Labyrinth - Sarah Williams - Red Court, Youngblood
Supernatural - Ava Wilson - Black Court, Novice

Current Characters:
Accelerator (Yuri) - Silver Court, Novice
Astarion - Red Court, Youngblood
Cal Kestis - Silver Court, Novice
Conrad Achenleck - Red Court, Youngblood
Eden Woods - Silver Court, Novice
Edgin Darvis - Blue Court, Youngblood
Harlock - Blue Court, Novice
Leonard "Bones" McCoy - Silver Court, Youngblood
Lockwood - Gold Court, Youngblood
Lydia - Red Court, Youngblood
Raphael - Red Court, Youngblood
Snow White - Silver Court, Novice
Trilla Suduri - Black Court, Novice
Xenk Yendar - Gold Court, Youngblood

SPRING ARRIVAL

New arrivals will be starting their first season in the Spring, and they're welcomed to the castle under the watchful eyes of the Red Court. Upon arrival, they will be shown to a room by humans whose eyes glow softly from within, with vacant smiles. Thralls. There, the human thralls will draw them a bath and bring them new clothes to wear to their first meeting. These are rich, expensive things made of high quality fabric. Whether it's a silk dress and a heavy velvet cowl, or a fine pants and a vest made from a brocade, the servants will provide whatever is requested of them. The new initiate's old clothes will be burned after, in a symbol of the life they are leaving behind. If they are hungry, they will be provided food. If they need anything at all, they need only ask their new servants.

Later that night, new novices are taken to a grand hall, with high arched ceilings and candles burning in chandeliers. There are figures painted overhead, beautiful and entwined. Some have their eyes are colored to match the courts, others are gracefully placed in their death, with blood dripping from necks and wrists.

Balconies line the hall behind a forest of pillars, and vampires all watch as the group walk through (some more hungrily than others).

"Welcome to your first undying season, initiates." a fair-skinned vampire with full, crimson lips that match her crimson eyes steps forward. With dark brown curls, a plunging gown, and a broadsword strapped to her back, the woman commands the attention of everyone in attendance. Her hair falls halfway down her back, and holds herself with a surety and ease to her posture that proves her sword isn't simply for show. She stands at the center of a wide semi-circle of other vampires, "My name is Claudia. As the Red Court's acting voice for the Spring season, allow me to introduce you to the Houses that will be your new homes."

The vampire, Claudia, gives the newcomers an overview of all of the courts—Blue, Red, Gold, Silver, and Black—and then invites those already claimed by their Courts to join the vampires who will be their Makers.

Claudia offers the Foundlings who are left a sharp, knowing smile, and waves a hand, allowing them to be chosen. They are like the last sheep left at the auction, and the vampires who take them may not be the enthused about it. Nevertheless, Claudia waits until all have found a maker, nodding imperceptibly as the last are paired off.

Now that they are paired up it is expected—indeed, required—that the initiate drink from their maker. That is their Beginning. Only once they have truly begun can they can be considered novices.

"Makers, your responsibility to your novices begins today," she declares, a red-eyed apprentice appearing behind her. The apprentice -- for her eyes are too red to be a novice, is blond and pale, and dressed in reds to match her Maker. She's an unfamiliar face in the castle, even for those who have been here for some time. Whispers follow them as she and Claudia step away from the center of the room. Her apprentice, however, remains bound like a livewire, predatory in her gaze as it lands on the season's new novices. "Come along, Silvea," calls Claudia, and for a moment Silvea hesitates, though she follows as instructed. Bit of an odd duck, this one.

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SPRING NOX

The Spring Nox consists of two events: an Arena and a Salon. The pageantry of the Nox springs up quickly, with Red Court banners unfurling throughout the castle and greenery put on display (the tame kind, one assumes).

Some may find the Arena most interesting. A complicated tournament requiring combatants to use an array of weapons, vampires from all over come to the castle to compete. Although of course the Red Court would argue the true spirit of the Arena is to show off the finesse and skill of the competitors, many vampires attend because of the thrill all the bloodshed brings. Some rounds, the blood in the air becomes so much it can be intoxicating. Good thing there are always thralls close at hand to drink from! Novices are, of course, off limits.

Normally, this tournament is held only amongst vampires. Even Youngbloods struggle against their mature counterparts, whose strength and speed are increased with their age. But this year, Claudia announces that one novice will be allowed to compete.

In order to choose that novice, Claudia and the Red Court are holding a novice tournament prior to the Arena. The prize? A permanent pass from the Red Court. This means that even should the winner never take another Red Court class again, they would have the Red Court's favor. In a world where failing means enthrallment, a guaranteed pass is far better than gold. Of course, no one expects the novice to actually win in the real arena events, but it'll be a very exciting way to lose spectacularly.

((Note: Students can sign up for the Novice Tournament here. The winner will be chosen via RNG once applications are processed. (In other words, new characters can sign up too!))

But not everyone is interested in bloodsport. Some may find themselves drawn, instead, to the Salon. This yearly event brings the most creative minds from all the lands to hold readings and discussions on art old and new. Some sessions are small, informal gatherings around one or two speakers. Others are large, reminiscent of the Silver Court's symposium sessions. There is guaranteed to be something for everyone, and anyone is welcome to reserve a space and hold a session, regardless of whether they are a vampire or not.

Of course, it wouldn't be a Red Court event without bloodwine and seduction, either. The Red Court maintains an expansive definition of art. It is not uncommon to find steamy poetry readings full of half-clothed vampires, pieces of art where the artist is a living (or unliving, as the case may be) subject, or interactive rooms with paint and other objects meant to be played with. Art is so often about the observer, after all.

A particular highlight this year is of a traveling group of vampires, the Dragulettes, who use makeup and clothing to change their gender rather than using masks. Their outfits range from the silly to the sexual, and they will be performing a series of popular folk songs. They are well known for their humor between their songs and their critiques of the way that humans put so much stock on gender and its false dichotomies. Their show will be on the same stage NECK*SINK played on, and draws a very large crowd as vampires young and old laugh and cheer for the show.

A FLOWERING SICKNESS

The change of season brings more than just warmer weather, as last month's pollinating flowers have begun to bloom all across the castle! But it isn't just the grounds and the gardens that are sporting bright, beautiful flowers now that the snow has begun to recede. Sprouts and blooms appear almost overnight along the castle halls and walls, from the brightest to the darkest recesses of the castle, where flowers have no business growing at all. Where have they come from, and how are they blooming? The Red and Silver Courts have yet to find the cause, but the fact is the flowers are here -- and for now, they're here to stay.

But as the Spring Nox passes and the Spring celebrations continue, novices, youngbloods, even some mature vampires, begin to suffer from a strange, inexplicable cough, with seemingly no cure. As the days pass, those afflicted will begin to cough up petals tinged with blood. Later still, the affliction advances so that those infected begin coughing up entire flowers, with novices reporting trouble breathing, and youngbloods reporting discomfort in their chests -- beneath their lungs.

Those in the most advanced stages may find thorns sprouting forth from their bodies, with the truly severe cases becoming overrun with vines and blooms, as the victims become enclosed by plants from the inside out, and transformed into still, lifelike trees. While the rate and speed at which the affliction worsens seems to vary from person to person, the castle's walkways are soon littered with bloody petals and fretful thralls.

Fortunately for all, while the origin of the affliction remains unknown, the Silver Court finds the curse's name within their records: Hanahaki. This flower-blooming curse buries its roots in the hearts of those with unmet desires. Whether that desire is for love, attention, hatred, approval, or even food, any strong desire is enough to spark life into the pollen so many ingested the month prior, and for the curse to take root. Luckily, once that desire is met, the flowers will wither and die, vanishing without a trace.

And for those whose desires are never met? Well, fortunately for them, flowers only bloom for so long. Anyone who advances to the final stage of the curse will only be afflicted by it for ten days' time, after which the flowers will fade away, starved for lack of nutrients. During this time, those affected can be assisted by others, if they happen to know that person's desire is. Or you could try watering them, that might help? (It doesn't help.)

((As with last month's pollen event, this prompt is completely optional! Flowers can represent whatever players want, and can affect characters as much or as little as you wish. Unmet desires can be anything from a desire for love and companionship, to "wanting to get a good grade in class," being noticed by your senpai or maybe just having the world's best slice of cake. Have fun with it! Additionally, anyone who participates in this prompt, in any form, is eligible for a free Cosmetic Physical Feature Regain.))

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NEW SEASON, STILL MURDER

Partway through the tournament, perhaps during a particularly exciting bout, whispers start to make their way through the halls. Not from Whisperfangs this time, but something much more sinister. A body, murmurs say, there's a body, others shriek. Spring Nox, it seems, is to be haunted just like Winter Sol.

Outside near one of the outdoor rings, Silvea lies as cold and bloodless as the night, a deep wound in her chest but, as with last time, no murder weapon in sight.

Kashire is here, though, another thing reminiscent of the last murder. "Don't just stand there staring!" He snaps, but what else is there to do, really? Try as anyone might to get to the bottom of things, it seems an apprentice was murdered. As a crowd begins to form, castle residents and visitors alike seem to crowd the members of the Council, probing for answers. Want to join your voice to the chorus? Good luck!

CLASS NOTES

Other notable happenings for the early winter season include:

• Tis the season for spring cleaning! With the castle overrun with blooms (bloody or otherwise) and flowers sprouting everywhere, you might make a thrall's day if you help clean up some of the mess around the castle. They won't thank you directly, but it's as good a time as any for the castle's residents to do their part and help keep the castle from becoming a gothic garden.


• The new season means new classes! Youngbloods will begin teaching their new courses for the Spring season, and students get to enjoy a slightly harder curriculum as their vampiric abilities grow and develop. Don't worry if you make a fool of yourself and walk into the wrong classroom. It's the first day of class, no one has memorized all of their students' names yet.


• Petal baths have become a bit gauche, but there must be something that can be done with all these flowers, right? Students and faculty alike are encouraged to use flowers creatively, whether it be wearing them in your hair, or perhaps building creative flower arrangements to decorate their rooms and space. Morbid, considering the cursed origin of the petals, but nothing tickles vampires quite like the macabre.


• Rumors are abuzz after Lady Whisperfangs latest rag was particularly biting. Could the Lady's latest temper flareup be due to a lost love, or does she simply enjoy tormenting the castle's residents? Either way, anonymity remains on Whisperfangs' side, but will that always be the case...?

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One more thing! We've added a Locations page, for all your location-based needs. As always, characters are free to talk to the NPCs as well: Revar & Kashire & Claudia. For any questions regarding this month's prompts, please comment in the Plotting Post. For general game questions, please check the FAQ/Game Info. In the meantime, remember to submit your Regains for this month's free reward, and keep an eye out for our AC Check-in next week, starting on March 25-31.

Thanks for joining us and we hope you're looking forward to what this new season has in store!

Comments

[galacticmalpractice]

Alright. Oatmeal it is. Plain and borin'! [ He turns from the thrall to Yuri, his sarcastic grin completely ignoring Yuri's complaints. ] You're gonna eat a whole bowl or I'm gonna stay here and nag you till you wanna stab me with a fork.

[ Complaints? Too bad. Bones will not hear them. Plus he'll keep on taking Yuri's vitals, taking hold of one of his wrists and gently pressing down to check his pulse. By now the thrall has left to fulfill their task. ]

What's your problem with thralls, anyway? What, you think they ain't worth talking to?

[ To be clear, he doesn't think this. He is being abrasive on purpose in an attempt to get Yuri to open up. This is classic Bones for you. ]

[levelshift]

[Seriously? God. Yuri sighs exasperatedly, making it clear from his scowl that he isn't appreciative that someone cares enough about his wellbeing to make sure he eats. And that he's not having to directly interact with a thrall for the meal, no less.

He won't stop Bones from taking his vitals, but that remark is enough to make him bristle.]

Fuck off. I don't think I'm better than them.

[It's hard to think you're better than anyone when you hate yourself.]

I don't like relying on them, especially not for inane shit like food. It's unnecessary.

[galacticmalpractice]

[ Touch luck, kiddo. Bones has no trouble caring about Yuri, and even less with taking his vitals while he makes use of the thralls in the infirmary. ]

Good, 'cause I hear that one plenty.

[ Usually from Gold people, naturally, but it's not an uncommon opinion, either. Bones ends up checking Yuri's reflexes, crooking an eyebrow at that response. ]

Why? They're already stuck here -- ignorin' em just means they'll stand around, bored outta their skulls till somebody turns 'em into a snack.

[levelshift]

[Yuri will compliantly straighten up when he needs to. His pulse and reflexes are fine, thankfully, but now that he's been sitting for a bit he's feeling more and more tired.

He really wants to just crawl into bed and sleep for a week. Can vampires do that? Maybe he'll be able to do that one day. He'd love to do it right now but Bones is still asking questions and it's making him feel more nauseous as he remembers the thrall girls.

... Then it occurs to him that if he's honest Bones might throw him out of the infirmary, which would mean he could go back to his room. It isn't the most rational idea, but it's still something, so he draws in a slow breath and mentally prepared himself to absolutely ruin the good will he's been receiving up until now.]

I killed a few thralls before coming here. It isn't fair for them to have to help out a thrall murderer.

[galacticmalpractice]

[ Well, that's one way to sober up a conversation, isn't it. Leonard lets the words linger, pausing only for a moment before he goes back to finishing up Yuri's vitals. He can tell the kid is exhausted, and can tell these experiments are doing more than just taking a toll on his body.

Killing thralls is awful, of course. But Yuri is practically a child. Anything he may have done or not done is, in Leonard's mind, undoubtedly a fault of his circumstances rather than Yuri's own. ]

Well, that's pretty fucked up.

[ Yeah, that's his response. Bones sets a hand on Yuri's shoulder, his touch gentle. Careful. He knows he won't get anywhere by telling Yuri it wasn't his fault though. ]

Whatever happened, you're here now. And the thralls here -- they don't have a choice either. Sometimes you gotta take the least-shitty decision out of a series of really shit options.

[levelshift]

[Yuri assumes that's pretty fucked up is the start of a hell of a lot more. It's a little understated, but obviously there has to be more --

He tenses up when Bones' hand settles on his shoulder, though he doesn't shift away from it. Whatever's coming is shit he deserves anyways, so it doesn't matter.

-- Except there isn't more. There's only Bones being understanding, instead of telling him to get out of the infirmary. Yuri stares, bewildered.]

That's it?

[That can't be it. He just admitted to murder, only total psychopaths are okay with humans killing innocent humans, and even though Bones is a vampire he isn't a psychopath.]

Just because I'm here doesn't change what I did. I killed some innocent kids, that's a lot more than just fucked up! [He almost sounds offended, though that's coming from his self-loathing.]

[galacticmalpractice]

[ Bones had pretty much expected that kind of response. For a kid this young to be carrying that kind of guilt -- it's no wonder Yuri won't take care of himself. But Bones won't diagnose him with survivor's guilt to his face, obviously, he just squeezes Yuri's shoulder and levels him with a look. ]

What, you want me to cuss you out?

[ He huffs something like disbelief, though there's a kindness to his eyes even as he keeps his trademark frown. ]

Kid, you're like twelve. [ Sixteen, Bones knows that. ] Anything you did—whatever led you to have to kill those poor kids, I'm sure it was some shitty adult's fault, not yours.

[ Young or not, Bones knows what guilt looks like. Yuri's way too young to be carrying this much of it. So he keeps talking -- mostly to keep Yuri from spiraling, and mostly because he knows that he hates being called a kid. Even if that's what he clearly is. ]

You feel like shit about it, don'tcha? That's why you can't look at thralls without thinkin' about it. So... [ He shrugs. ] Yeah, it's fucked up. But you seem to be doin' a pretty good job of makin' yourself feel like trash about it, so you don't need my help.

[levelshift]

[He doesn't answer that question but from the way his shocked expression is settling into one of frustrated anger, yes, Yuri wanted to get cussed out. That's infinitely easier to deal with than someone trying to be understanding over something that doesn't deserve kind feelings. That should be reserved for the thrall girls, even though they're dead. Not him.

His eye twitches. Sixteen, thank you. More than old enough to understand what he did and be at fault for it.]

So what, you're just going to act like I'm some innocent brat? I'm not.

[He can't be. He refuses to think of himself like that. Doing so would cheapen the suffering those girls went through.]

No one else is responsible for what I did except for me. I don't deserve your sympathy, or whatever the hell you're trying to do.

[galacticmalpractice]

Too late, kid. One thing you learn as you get older -- you can't do shit to control how people feel about you. They're gonna decide whatever they decide.

[ And that means that Bones has decided Yuri is as much a victims as the thralls he killed. There's no question. He is a child. The world simply works that way for Bones, and that's a fact Yuri won't be able to change.

But since Yuri doesn't want sympathy, then Bones can deal with that. No one said he couldn't still be an asshole while worrying about the kid. ]

How 'bout this? [ He rolls his eyes, voice dripping with sarcasm. ] I can go ahead an' write up a sign that says "Thrall Killer" on it and make you wear it around your neck. Would that help?

[levelshift]

[Not that he wants to control how people feel, but in Yuri's (very adolescent) mind there's a right response and a wrong response in this situation, and Bones' is clearly the wrong on. Why he can't see that is beyond him -- he's just. Being stubborn, and way too kind.

He hates it. He really, really hates it, but he doesn't know how he can articulate that wrongness. The idea of bringing up that brat (whose death was also entirely his own fault) crosses his mind, but talking about her is even harder than the thrall girls. On top of that, he doesn't want to cheapen her death to win an argument.

Even if Bones is wrong.

He scowls deeply, but he doesn't sass the doctor back.]

..... No. It wouldn't.

[galacticmalpractice]

[ Hit a nerve, did he? Good. That was indeed what he'd intended. And maybe this isn't a lesson he can teach Yuri in just one night, but at least getting the kid to admit that martyring himself and getting yelled at wouldn't actually make him feel better is a good first step. ]

See? Ain't much better, is it.

[ Bones ruffles Yuri's hair for good measure. Sorry, kid. You done got yourself adopted by this guy. ]

Sympathy or not, you're still gonna feel like shit. Life's a bitch like that.

[levelshift]

[Yuri ducks his head and clicks his tongue. As soon as Bones has removed his hand he's trying to fix his hair.]

I'm not looking to feel better --

[There's definitely a sense of satisfaction that would come with Bones yelling at him. Some kind of unhealthy validation. Yuri wasn't going into this expecting to feel better, but... maybe it would? It's what he wants, so he supposes it's possible, though he also quickly realizes how incredibly selfish that is.

He drops his hand, his scowl shifting to a more resigned frown.]

... I don't think I'm looking to feel better. So it's fine.

[galacticmalpractice]

[ Aw, Yuri. Feelings do suck, don't they. Bones smirks with what can only be called warmth in his eyes. He sees you, kid. He remembers being a bratty teen who thought he knew how the world worked. ]

Guilt's one of those things. People talk about how it gets easier to deal with, or how you gotta forgive yourself... but if you ask me, that shit never really goes away. You just get further away from it. Whether that's forgiveness or just time rollin' on by, well. I dunno. But I've fucked up plenty.

[ He takes down a few notes in his notepad, looking down to avoid freaking the kid out with the fact that he's about to open up a bit. ]

Back when I was alive, I was a doctor, too. I had plenty of patients die on me -- my dad, [ His voice comes out hoarse as he says that, and he's quick to clear his throat and move on past it. ] People I wish I could've saved. Sure, I knew it was part of the job, but I let that guilt fuel me. I thought it made me stronger.

[ He shakes his head. This is maybe a lot to put on a kid, but Yuri doesn't want to be treated like a kid, does he? He turns and looks at Yuri as he speaks, silver eyes clear with intent. ]

All it did was make me an obsessed asshole. I neglected my wife and kid 'cause I was too busy punishin' myself over the lives I couldn't save. I was so obsessed with tryin' live up to the dead, I couldn't see that I was leavin' behind the livin' while I was at it.

[levelshift]

[Oh no, he's being perceived. Yuri is immediately wishing he had kept his mouth shut. He's lived most of his life that way, the only time that really changed was with that brat, and look how that turned out.

But really, as uncomfortable as opening up emotionally makes him, this is a lot healthier than him keeping everything to himself. The doctor keeps going and because of that, Yuri finds himself actually giving some more thought to his guilt instead of just letting it fester in the back of his mind. There's no way it's ever going to fade, he's sure of that. What Bones is saying sounds a lot more realistic to him, about how you only get further from it rather than it going away. It's been less than a year since he killed the thrall girls, and everything still feels raw and painful. If anything, it feels like it's just been getting worse.

What if it keeps getting worse? Should he ask Bones about that? But this isn't really his problem, this is something he should be dealing with (or not) on his own.....

There's a lot rolling around in his mind, though he snaps back to attention when Bones starts speaking again. He glances up and -- wait, what? Back when he was alive?? Yuri's eyes widen as he listens, even though he probably shouldn't be. This is really personal stuff, and as someone who doesn't have a lot of experience knowing about other people's persona lives, it feels kind of invasive to be hearing about it.

He supposes this is Bones' way of trying to relate. Yuri picks up on that pretty quickly, at least, though this has to be the worst thing you could want to relate to someone over. Unending guilt over death is a hell of a lot worse than having a mutual hobby.

But hey! Too late, he now knows a bit more about Bones and he just has to deal with it. Really, is it all that shocking that the doctor who would've been 30 or 40 when he was still human had a whole family? That's what normal people do, they get married and have children.

........... He's still looking shocked despite that.]

... A wife and kid? You had a family?

[Sorry, he knows he shouldn't ask for more details about that, especially when it's clear the story there is a sad one. If there's one thing he's learned here, it's that when it comes to talking about themselves, vampires are finicky at best and brick walls at worst.

But he's curious. It's not like he's ever had much in the way of family before, good or bad.]

cw discussion of alcoholism

[galacticmalpractice]

[ Yeah, you don't exactly hear about vampires leaving behind families. Most don't want anything to do with theirs, or maybe didn't have anything left for them. Bones opened the door for this, so he doesn't shy away from Yuri's question, either. Hell, it's not the kind of problem a kid like Yuri can relate to, but he ought to know that at least Bones isn't speaking from some high horse. ]

My wife left me. She took my daughter with 'er, too. [ Saying it aloud feels like a punch to the gut, but Bones shakes his head. ] I can't blame 'em, really. Bad enough her husband never comes home from the clinic 'cause he's obsessed with saving lives and seein' patients. I felt like shit every time someone died, but I didn't want 'er to suffer my shit either, so I turned to drinkin'... and never stopped.

[ He brings a hand down his face. This is probably too much to put on a kid, isn't it? Yeah. Bones' licks his lips, looking away from Yuri for a moment. Oh, well. In for a penny, as they say. ]

She waited long enough for my ass to drag itself out of the pit I dug myself into, but I just never came up for air. I let the guilt swallow me whole, and before I knew it... I left her and my daughter long before she ever left me. I just didn't realize it.

[ He sighs, blinking back any emotion from his voice. It's easier as a vampire -- but that almost makes it worse. He wishes it weren't. He wants this to hurt, as unhealthy as that would be. But then, Yuri doesn't need to know all that. And hey, at least with all this time he's spending, that thrall should be back with the oatmeal soon.

With a quick shake of his head, Leonard is back to his glib, casual frown. ]

Anyway, you probably don't wanna hear about my sadsack life. But my point is—guilt'll make you do a lot of stupid shit if you let it run your life. I know sayin' it and doin' it are two whole different things, but you just... gotta try not to do it all alone, y'know? It'll never get any easier if you shoulder all that shit on your own. Don't be like I was an' think no one else understands, 'cause that's horseshit, plain an' simple.

cw discussion of alcoholism

[levelshift]

[This is so much personal information. Yuri has never had a family, but even he can tell that this is a massive olive branch on Bones' part. Who the hell would want to openly admit he's an awful enough drunk that his wife and kid left him? It's kind of monstrous behaviour, when you think about it. Not as bad as actively killing people, but neglecting people who obviously care about you and wrecking your own body even though it would hurt them aren't things a good person does.

So maybe Bones has a point to all of this. As easy as it would be for Yuri to just dismiss him and wallow in his own feelings of guilt, he doesn't. He'll readily admit to being a monster any day of the week, but he doesn't think he's shitty enough to turn down a hand when it's being offered to him out of genuine understanding. At least, he's pretty sure he isn't, as this isn't something that's happened very often.

... On the other hand, it could be selfish of him for accepting that Bones is calling himself shitty. Maybe someone else would try to be comforting and encouraging instead of just agreeing that hey, they're both awful people. There's a renewed flare of guilt in Yuri's gut and he looks down at his hands, locking his fingers together. He doesn't really know.]

You... didn't have to tell me all of that. I get that it's private. [Is this the part where he's supposed to say 'sorry about your family'? That feels like it'd be insincere, so he doesn't.] But you're right, you were shit. I can't even picture how bad it must've been for them.

[Honestly, he figures it must be easier never having had a father, than having one and losing him to his own selfishness. Leaving was probably the right thing to do, though he has enough tact to refrain from saying that part out loud and instead moves on.]

I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I'm used to dealing with shit on my own. [He was separated from the other kids and by the time those restrictions were loosened he had no interest in them, and the doctors never gave a shit beyond their experiments. He's been on his own for so long that it's normal to him, even if he doesn't particularly like it.] I'm only bringing other people down by dumping my own problems on them, and I don't want to do that.

[galacticmalpractice]

[ Bones won't get too personal into all the ways he failed and all the ways he can never repair what he broke, but those are problems that have nothing to do with this kid. They hardly have much to do with Bones anymore, now that he's here and undead.

He smiles somewhat ruefully. Don't worry, he's heard much worse. Hell, the 'insult' is mostly just amusing. ]

Trust me, I know. I deserve it. [ He nods, his smile falling to something more solemn. ] I don't talk about my time as a novice 'cause I fuckin' sucked. Karma dragged my ass out of the bottom of a barrel, sometimes literally. 

[ He shrugs. He's not going to preach about how people can change. Or about how dying made him really rethink his life and his choices. Yuri's just a kid. He shouldn't be looking at a life sentence, yet here they both are. Yuri shouldn't have been forced into a situation where he had to kill people, either. The kid clearly got a shit hand. ]

Guess what I'm sayin' is -- I know it's hard, gettin' used to the idea that somebody might give a shit about you. Doesn't have to be your maker, or hell, even me. Just as long as you got somebody to talk to, I've reckon... things get easier when you're not carryin' em alone. 

[ Right on time, a thrall appears with Yuri's simple meal. It's a bowl of warm oatmeal with some honey. The thrall places it on a table and Bones shoots them a grateful smile before turning his attention back to Yuri. ]

Obviously, you told me about somethin' pretty fucked up, so I'm sayin' I'll listen if you wanna talk about it. [ He waves a hand, gesturing casually. ] But I figure you oughta know that I ain't gonna look down on you, kid. I've been dragged about as far down as it gets, your shit ain't gonna do much worse.

[levelshift]

[It's weirdly reassuring how accepting Bones is at being called shitty. Most people wouldn't take too kindly to being insulted. Yuri supposes it speaks to his sincerity about everything he's said.

(It makes him feel a little better about his own piss poor self worth. Like the doctor has been saying, he isn't alone.)

There's another thing that's making Yuri pause and think -- Bones' relationship with his Maker. It sounds like Karma cared pretty deeply, and the question crosses his mind whether that's how Maker-novice bonds are supposed to be. He doubts Aleister is all that concerned about how he feels about himself, as long as it isn't causing another breakdown.]

......

[He glances up when the thrall enters with the oatmeal. Despite not having much of an appetite due to his head aching, it still smells good. The presence of the thrall causes a spike of discomfort in his gut, and he does his best to ignore it.]

... Thanks. [That's to Bones, for the oatmeal and everything else. This wasn't a conversation he ever wanted to have with someone, but it was one he needed.] There's a lot I need to wrap my head around. Not -- bad shit, but I'm not good at talking to people.

[He's antisocial and he knows it, no beating around the bush there. Opening up this much has been incredibly hard. The idea of doing it again seems overwhelming, and part of him would rather crawl into a hole than do it again. Regardless....

Yuri sighs a little, reluctantly glancing up at Bones.]

I'll try, though. If you really don't mind listening.

[Congrats Bones, you're dad now.]

[galacticmalpractice]

[ Don't dish it if you can't take it, Bones would say. He's far too foul-mouthed and grouchy to get insulted by simple words -- and words he deserves, much less. Despite his appearance of being put together, he was definitely once held together by a very thin thread of sanity. He knows what it's like to hate everything about himself, and hell, sometimes he still feels like that.

Karma had fostered his talents, had been there for him... he would not be nearly as calm if it weren't for them, that's simply the truth.

But Bones simply observes Yuri as he takes in the oatmeal. At least he's trying.

Everyone's a work in progress. [ He shrugs. ] 'Fraid I can't help you much when it comes to talkin' to people -- you might not've noticed, but I'm pretty shit at doin' much besides yellin' and complainin'.

[ He says as if he didn't just, you know, actually show quite a bit of compassion and share something deeply personal about himself. But Bones would rather be known as a grouch than as a nice person. He doesn't believe he's particularly nice. He'll be happy if he can get Yuri that much closer to being... well, maybe less sad. That's all he can ask for, really.

They really do have stuff in common, huh. ]

I really don't, kiddo.

[ He doesn't mind, that is. He swivels his chair around so he's giving Yuri his full attention, though he's happy to turn back around if the kid would feel more comfortable with this being more casual. Despite his attempt at nonchalance, Bones really does pay attention to things. ]

I might be shit at talkin', but listenin' I can do, easy.

[levelshift]

[Yuri appreciates Bones not batting an eye at getting insulted. He knows he's abrasive on a good day, and most people (for good reason) don't put up with it. That Bones is still willing to talk to him - and relate to him - is pretty important.

Everyone's a work in progress. That's him for sure, though he isn't sure if he'll ever actually improve. It doesn't feel like that's possible, right now.

He takes the bowl of oatmeal, though he doesn't start eating quite yet.]

... Okay.

[Okay, so.... he can give this a try. Sharing. Talking about himself.

He pokes a bit at the oatmeal with his spoon, considering what the hell to do next. Normally, if he didn't just have a whole conversation about opening, he'd tell someone to fuck off. That isn't an option here, which means he's kind of at a loss as to where to go next.

He doesn't want to bring up the younger sister of the thrall girls, he's sure of that. Just thinking about her is still really painful. He isn't sure he wants to talk about the thrall girls either -- if he does he isn't sure he'll be able to keep the oatmeal down. There's his Maker, but that's a bit gossipy....

He looks down at his oatmeal. Oh.

Well.]

The food at the orphanage was mostly crap, and when I was recovering from brain surgery I couldn't handle solid foods. So I don't really give a shit about it.

[In case Bones was wondering why Yuri has been so indifferent towards food, despite having access to high quality meals here in the castle.]

[galacticmalpractice]

[ Even the tiniest step is a step in the right direction -- though Bones won't feed the kid too many platitudes, they never sit right with him, either. He just sits back and waits, patiently observing Yuri's chart while the kid works up the nerve to say whatever he has to say.

Bones is in no rush. He half reads and half pays attention, until Yuri finally speaks. ]

Makes sense.

[ And it explains why Yuri doesn't care for food much -- that kind of reaction was common for kids in traumatic experiences like that. Bones nods towards Yuri's meal. ]

I had 'em get you oatmeal 'cause I figured soft food would be easy to stomach if you had a concussion. Course, I'm not an animal -- there's honey in it, if you like it sweet.

[ He wasn't trying to be like them in other words. Even when he's being a pain in the ass, Bones makes sure there's something palatable about it. If this castle had lollipops, he'd hand them out for good behavior. ]

[levelshift]

[It feels strange saying that out loud. Part of him doesn't think it was so bad, though he's still trying to wrap his head around the idea of someone actually caring about his food preferences (or lack thereof).

Maybe that's what it is. Bones actually cares, and that's new to him.

Yuri isn't totally sure, and inwardly he scolds himself for bothering to dwell on it. He isn't the type to be introspective, so there's no point in putting effort into something like that.

At least Bones is being pretty low key about it. Yuri appreciates that he isn't making a big deal about it. Though, it doesn't stop him from scoffing a little.]

That's unnecessarily considerate of you.

[He resists the urge to cram more self-loathing into that statement, instead opting to just take a bite of the damn oatmeal. Since Bones went to all that effort for him and all.

He isn't a big fan of sugary things, but it tastes decent enough and despite feeling like garbage he's fairly sure he can keep it down. More importantly than that, it tastes infinitely better than the garbage the orphanage provided.]

... It's fine.

[galacticmalpractice]

[ Bones would ruffle at being called considerate under most circumstances, but he just huffs a quick smirk when Yuri says it. The kid deserves way better than what he got, that's for sure, but wounds that deep don't just go away. He might be young, but it's clear he's been through the ringer. Brain surgeries on orphans... no guesses on who's behind that.

Fuck. He hates vampires. (Thinks the vampire.)

If he can do one nice thing for Yuri by being there for him and listening, and maybe occasionally making sure he eats some damn food... well, it'll be too little too late, but it's something. Bones nods at the kid's verdict. ]

Good.

[ He reaches over and smooths a hand over Yuri's shoulder, gentle but quick, the kind of move where he could claim he was just brushing some dust off his shoulder rather than offering some kind of physical comfort. Don't worry, he knows this kind of contact is very likely not wanted. ]

I'd be worried if you'd said it was awesome or somethin'. It's just oatmeal, after all.

[levelshift]

[This is certainly a lot more consideration than Yuri has gotten in his life, and given his self-worth issues he can't let it go unremarked upon. It's weird, this whole situation is weird, and he's pretty sure he's never going to fully get used to Bones being nice to him.

As shown by the way he glances over and frowns a little at the hand on his shoulder. It's too fast for him to say something about it, but from his vaguely uncomfortable expression it's clear that is something he isn't certain about.

He decides to brush it off, taking another bite of oatmeal.]

I'm sure there's some boring-ass person out there whose favourite food is oatmeal.

[Hah, he's funny.]

[galacticmalpractice]

[ Don't worry, kid. You've got time to get used to Bones' special kind of mother-henning. That glare doesn't surprise him at all, just makes him smirk because he definitely called it (in his head, anyway.) ]

Maybe Revar, huh? They probably can't remember bein' human, but I wouldn't put it past 'em.

[ He can make jokes about Revar because that's his gram... it's fine right? It's fine. ]